there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
me + whiskey = a bad person
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
