He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
