Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
