so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
