i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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