Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
In America we eat man semen.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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