i permit you to call me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
