Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
