Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
