She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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