He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
