Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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