She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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