Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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