It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
