No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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