Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
