so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
