break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am spending my child support on dildos
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
