i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
