Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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