your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize