I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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