If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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