Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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