...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
