forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
