i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
