I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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