Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
