i would punch a child for taco bell
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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