how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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