I love black thongs
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
the raccoons are back...
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