like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
