I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize