Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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