I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize