yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
