um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
