We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize