Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
