grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
