Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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