Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
