At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
