if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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