I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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