this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Barsexuality is the new black.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize