i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
