im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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