Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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