We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
