I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
