im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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