They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
