There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
