the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
