I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
so much tequila, so little girl.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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