There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
