dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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