Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
