and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
