all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
