he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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