Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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