I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Even the bartender felt bad for me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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