she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
