I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
