I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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