I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
