hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
