you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
