God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
