i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
