Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize