You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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